I'm having a teddy bear!
Saturday 11 April 2009
Monday 6 April 2009
Friday 27 February 2009
The story of Little B
So it seems, a body is very enthusiastic to get pregnant straight after a miscarriage. I thought it took 6 weeks to ovulate afterwards -oops. But here I am with a little bump due in August.
I had a scan and Little B waved.
I had a scan and Little B waved.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
Calculate a Date
I came across a cool website. It adds or subtracts from a date, or finds the difference between 2 dates in years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds...
I'm 261,816 hours old. I've lived through 1558 monday mornings!
http://www.timeanddate.com/date/dateadd.html
I think I need to find a job soon.
I'm 261,816 hours old. I've lived through 1558 monday mornings!
http://www.timeanddate.com/date/dateadd.html
I think I need to find a job soon.
Tuesday 13 January 2009
Womb
I found out at Christmas that I have a bicornuate (heart shaped) womb.
It really is heart shaped!
I was looking at other pictures of wombs and found these, they look so peaceful
It really is heart shaped!
I was looking at other pictures of wombs and found these, they look so peaceful
(unless someone's taking the piss on photoshop!)
Thursday 18 December 2008
You already know how this will end...
i love the words and animation for this ad, subtle poignancy
it's a song by Devotchka http://devotchka.net/
Saturday 22 November 2008
Friday 21 November 2008
My favourite Poem
Auntie did you feel no pain
Falling from that willow tree?
Could you do it, please again
‘Cos my friend here didn’t see
harry graham
Falling from that willow tree?
Could you do it, please again
‘Cos my friend here didn’t see
harry graham
Thursday 20 November 2008
Goodbye my Bump
Sadly little bump didn't survive.
The Algerian and I spent 6 hours at hospital, in the acute gynaecological clinic. After a few days of pain I had guessed it would not be a positive outcome. His response the previous night to my baby news was joy. His response to my miscarriage was that I clearly had not wanted the baby enough and god had heard.
On the morning of the hospital appointment, I awoke dreading a life imagined with the man from Algeria and our bump. My wonderful ideas of raising a child had slowly turned into a life trapped in a loveless relationship. Maybe god had heard me and misinterpreted.
The man from Algeria wants to try for another baby immediately. I want to run 500 miles in the opposite direction. I think this was a wake up call - don't be naive about the repercussions of sex with an ex. Choose your life carefully. Although as Lennon (and Annabel) said - life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
The only solution is to go out and get totally wankered ("alcohol -the solution and cause of all life's problems" homer). I now have to ring around everyone and disperse the sad news. This is why people wait for the 12 week scan!
I hope you are safe in heaven little bump.
The Algerian and I spent 6 hours at hospital, in the acute gynaecological clinic. After a few days of pain I had guessed it would not be a positive outcome. His response the previous night to my baby news was joy. His response to my miscarriage was that I clearly had not wanted the baby enough and god had heard.
On the morning of the hospital appointment, I awoke dreading a life imagined with the man from Algeria and our bump. My wonderful ideas of raising a child had slowly turned into a life trapped in a loveless relationship. Maybe god had heard me and misinterpreted.
The man from Algeria wants to try for another baby immediately. I want to run 500 miles in the opposite direction. I think this was a wake up call - don't be naive about the repercussions of sex with an ex. Choose your life carefully. Although as Lennon (and Annabel) said - life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
The only solution is to go out and get totally wankered ("alcohol -the solution and cause of all life's problems" homer). I now have to ring around everyone and disperse the sad news. This is why people wait for the 12 week scan!
I hope you are safe in heaven little bump.
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Bump
Following 8 pregnancy tests last Sunday, I'm pregnant. I'm still quite dubious though and have to resist urge to bulk buy more tests.
I had unprotected sex with my algerian idiot, clearly a mistake, and took the morning after pill 72 hours later. 55% effective. Stupid pill, stupid girl.
The doctor calculates I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
I am now an expert at googling pregnancy.
Spent long weekend in Wales discussing options with parents, who have been extremely supportive. Albeit being 29 not 15, I was still nervous. Dad drank a lot of wine, mum ate a lot of chocolate... and we all discussed the ins and outs of how I conduct myself carnally. And of course if I would consider marriage to the father. Er no.
I was excitedly encouraged to ring round all the relatives, even at this early stage - Mum said, they can congratulate and commiserate later if you have a miscarriage...super... 'Hi Grandma, I have some news... 5 weeks pregnant... yes a surprise .... yes my french boyfriend (a slight stretch of the truth but a thumbs up from dad)... new life...".
I felt like I was ringing round dispersing bad news.
Most sounded shocked, some fained joy.
Conclusions following our weekend of discussion -
parents: get job, save money, have baby, move back to wales
me: try to get job, continue on dole, stick head in sand, stay in london
I am secretly very happy!
Have yet to tell the man from Algeria (he no longer fits 'le garçon')
I had unprotected sex with my algerian idiot, clearly a mistake, and took the morning after pill 72 hours later. 55% effective. Stupid pill, stupid girl.
The doctor calculates I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
I am now an expert at googling pregnancy.
Spent long weekend in Wales discussing options with parents, who have been extremely supportive. Albeit being 29 not 15, I was still nervous. Dad drank a lot of wine, mum ate a lot of chocolate... and we all discussed the ins and outs of how I conduct myself carnally. And of course if I would consider marriage to the father. Er no.
I was excitedly encouraged to ring round all the relatives, even at this early stage - Mum said, they can congratulate and commiserate later if you have a miscarriage...super... 'Hi Grandma, I have some news... 5 weeks pregnant... yes a surprise .... yes my french boyfriend (a slight stretch of the truth but a thumbs up from dad)... new life...".
I felt like I was ringing round dispersing bad news.
Most sounded shocked, some fained joy.
Conclusions following our weekend of discussion -
parents: get job, save money, have baby, move back to wales
me: try to get job, continue on dole, stick head in sand, stay in london
I am secretly very happy!
Have yet to tell the man from Algeria (he no longer fits 'le garçon')
Wednesday 24 September 2008
Saturday 20 September 2008
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Birthday Song
Tragedy by the Bee Gees was No.1 the day I was born. I hope my Mama wasn't listening.
http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/birthdayno1
http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/birthdayno1
Monday 15 September 2008
Friday 12 September 2008
Thought
When something annoys or is stressful, the little thought in my head is "naff off and die". A bit extreme but comforting .Today I said a lot of "naff off and dies".
Declare Yourself?
Thursday 4 September 2008
Paradise
Does paradise have to be shared to be recognised? On a beautiful beach in Indonesia I realised I was by myself and wondered if it was an illusion as no one else was around to see.
Similar to 'if a tree falls in a forest when nobody is around, does it make a noise?'
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I took a photo
Similar to 'if a tree falls in a forest when nobody is around, does it make a noise?'
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I took a photo
Tuesday 26 August 2008
Dazed and Confused
My love; he's not french. He's Algerian.
He's not legal.
His sister is not called Claudia.
Elton peux aller se faire foutre.
He wants to live in a forest so that he's not found and arrested.
The romance has died.
He's not legal.
His sister is not called Claudia.
Elton peux aller se faire foutre.
He wants to live in a forest so that he's not found and arrested.
The romance has died.
Monday 30 June 2008
Mon Garçon
Elton, je vous salue.
I met a boy. He's french. He has beautiful eyes, beautiful lips pouty lips. He says 'erbs not herbs. He has black hair, grey hairs -secrets.
I'm learning french. The tape so far taught me 'quelle est la situation politique et economique en france'. can we communicate? All I want is a kiss.
He's complicated but that's french, he drinks wine but doesn't get pissed, he cooks like it's art, and he "make sex" (mon garçon, juin) as though i am the only girl he ever looked into the eyes of.
He wants to live in a forest, all he needs is 'woman'.
Grey skies, tears, happiness.. the world goes by.. and all I think of is the kisses to my soul and the children we'll have.
I met a boy. He's french. He has beautiful eyes, beautiful lips pouty lips. He says 'erbs not herbs. He has black hair, grey hairs -secrets.
I'm learning french. The tape so far taught me 'quelle est la situation politique et economique en france'. can we communicate? All I want is a kiss.
He's complicated but that's french, he drinks wine but doesn't get pissed, he cooks like it's art, and he "make sex" (mon garçon, juin) as though i am the only girl he ever looked into the eyes of.
He wants to live in a forest, all he needs is 'woman'.
Grey skies, tears, happiness.. the world goes by.. and all I think of is the kisses to my soul and the children we'll have.
Thursday 15 May 2008
Saturday 10 May 2008
An ode to binge drinking
A little sip
A smile to a friend
A wave to the barman
A twinkling laugh
A large glass of wine
A bottle of wine,
Two bottles of wine
A raucous moment
A bottomless glass
A swig in a taxi
A blurry eye
A shouting phase
A hurtling pavement
A sore tooth
A smile to a friend
A wave to the barman
A twinkling laugh
A large glass of wine
A bottle of wine,
Two bottles of wine
A raucous moment
A bottomless glass
A swig in a taxi
A blurry eye
A shouting phase
A hurtling pavement
A sore tooth
"not as ladylike as hoped"
Friday 9 May 2008
Hakuna Matata
rough and tumble anyone?
bigpaws
yoda
"aint milk brill"
"born to be WIIIIIIIILLLLD!"
" we want to be together "
scary chicks!
an edwardian tiger
Grrrrrrrr
"to be ...or not to be"
Through the looking glass
I'm writing this blog mainly to stop my thoughts getting too crowded. Self-therapy; twoddle.
Things in my life I love:
My family
My friends
My cat
Cider
Wine
Cigarettes
Summer
New York
Things in my life I don't like:
Gloomy days
My philosophies:
Be happy
Don't regret
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